We won’t be exaggerating if we say that someone’s ability to communicate with other people directly affects their fate. There are no situations that can’t be settled with the right word. And there are few people who completely cut off any communication with others.
If we’re talking about dating sites and apps, here’s where your communication skill is one of the main success factors. The ability to find a common language with new people is critically important. Conversely, the wrong approach to communication can lead to numerous unsuccessful attempts to meet online.
We decided to offer some tips on how to communicate on dating sites or apps so that the conversation is fruitful and does not come to a grinding halt over and over again.
How to chat on a dating site or app?
- Take the initiative in your hands
Do not expect others to take the initiative in communication. If you’re really set on making friends, we advise you to take the initiative. Don’t be afraid to start the conversation, don’t hesitate to ask a personal question at the right moment, don’t think too long, just act!
Of course, you don’t have to be overly intrusive. This is also bad. But if you just register on a dating site and wait for someone to reach out to you first, then the waiting will be very, very long.
- Be precise and concise, and ask better questions
It’s easy to ask, “How are you?” or “How do you feel?” But such questions do not help your communication in any way. They only confuse the other person. They will answer “Okay” and that’s it, the conversation is over. Try to ask something specific, suggesting a detailed answer. Don’t be afraid to ask deeper questions. They will not only help you get to know the other user better, but also show them that you are really interested in talking to them. This is the best compliment you can give, and it doesn’t even require any big words or beautiful phrases from you.
- Don’t be arrogant
In an effort to appear better than they really are, many people cross the line and try to show they are above everyone else. Often arrogance is just a sign of insecurity, but this doesn’t make it easier for the other person.
Don’t be arrogant, show your humanity and realness. Each person has their own strengths and weaknesses. That’s a fact. Your true nature will show itself sooner or later, and if it is very different from the image you have created for yourself on the web, nothing good will come of it.
- Do not use cute or pet names with someone you just met
At first glance, this seems trivial, but pet names can seem patronizing or sexist and spoil the impression you give the other person. It doesn’t matter that you just wanted to appear friendly.
We recommend calling the other user by their name without changing it. Also, do not use the appeal “sweetheart”, “babe” or others like that. It may seem that such names are breaking the ice, but in fact the effect can be quite the opposite. Follow the basic rules of politeness and address strangers and unfamiliar people the way you want to be addressed.
- Talk less, listen more
The ability to listen is very important not only during the first meeting, but in general throughout life. Be attentive to everything that the other person tells you. Don’t interrupt them. Do not try to wedge your own thoughts in the middle of what they’re saying. Even if you really want to say something right now, there’s no need to interrupt. Listen to what they say, take it in, and only after that start talking.
There are people who do their best to avoid awkward pauses in conversation. Accordingly, they try to fill them with conversation, which is often completely thoughtless and unnecessary. Sometimes it’s better to be silent than to talk incessantly.
- Try not to be distracted
In any long conversation, for example, on a video call, you will get distracted at one time or another. This is fine. But don’t do it unnecessarily. You do not need to look at your phone during the conversation (unless you’re using the app, of course), read articles on the Internet, play games or communicate with someone else at the same time. With such behavior, you only show the other person they’re not interesting to you and that communication with them is a bore.
If you have already started a conversation, concentrate on the other person. If you know that in the near future you will definitely be distracted, let them know about this in advance and reschedule the conversation, especially when it comes to video dating. And in a situation where your chat partner is constantly distracted, we recommend that you immediately ask if you should postpone the conversation until they have more free time.
- Use video communication, not just texting
Communication by texting can continue day after day, weeks and months, without developing in any way. Sooner or later it will simply stop. You can not turn online dating into an endless chat and talk about nothing. We recommend speeding up the process and using video chat. For example, Omegle is a video chatroulette that connects random users. If this site does not suit you, there are excellent Omegle analogues: OmeTV, Tinychat, Omega and others. Many Omegle alternatives are now much more convenient, practical and functional than their ancestor. They have gender and geographic filters, excellent moderation, good support service, convenient smartphone apps, and so on. Why not try?
- If you see that a connection is not happening and the person is “not for you”, it’s better to stop chatting
There are many people who are afraid of offending the other person and stay in touch, although they understand that nothing will come of it. This is not right. By doing this, you are only making things worse for yourself and for the other person. If you understand that the acquaintance is completely hopeless, try to tactfully inform the other user about this and end the conversation.
The main thing is that you don’t just need to cut off the connection abruptly. That will only make the other person more upset and for a very long time they will try to understand what they did wrong and why you did this to them. An abrupt break in contact has even got its own name — ghosting.
Everything is not as hard as it seems
Exactly the same rules of communication work on the Internet as in real life. If you know how to find a common language with new people offline, then there will be no difficulties on the web. If there are still some, we advise you to practice a little. The best way is learning how to do small talk — short conversations with strangers or unfamiliar people on abstract topics. They do not oblige you with anything, but they help you cope with shyness and insecurity.
These short conversations can be practiced offline or online. For example, by using the aforementioned Omegle video chat or its alternatives. This is the perfect option for those looking to improve their communication skills from the comfort of their home. Give it a try!
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