Behind the fierce tackles and tireless performances that have made him a West Ham United icon, Tomas Soucek was fighting a battle that nobody could see. The Czech midfielder has courageously revealed that he endured “two years of horror” battling insomnia and depression so severe that he seriously considered walking away from professional football—a confession that sheds light on the hidden struggles elite athletes face behind the glamour of Premier League football.
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Tomas Soucek’s Shocking Revelation: The Two-Year Nightmare
| Tomas Soucek at West Ham | Statistics |
|---|---|
| Joined West Ham | January 2020 |
| Total Appearances | 250+ matches |
| Goals Scored | 30+ |
| Major Trophy | UEFA Europa Conference League 2023 |
| Contract Extension | January 2024 (until 2027) |
| Mental Health Struggle Period | 2023-2025 (approximately) |
In his newly published autobiography titled “Suk,” co-written with Czech journalists Jan Palička and David Čermák, the 30-year-old midfielder has opened up about a period of his life that he describes as unbearable suffering. The revelations come during Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month in November, adding profound significance to his decision to share his story.
“Two years of horror,” Tomas Soucek wrote in his autobiography. “I was ashamed to talk about it for a long time. Even my parents, until I decided to write my confession, had no idea that something bad was happening. Something that bothered me so much that I thought about ending my career.”
The confession is particularly startling given Soucek’s reputation as one of the Premier League’s most physically and mentally resilient players—a midfielder who routinely finishes matches with bandaged heads, never shirks a challenge, and has become synonymous with unwavering commitment to his team.
The Invisible Symptoms: Insomnia, Depression, and Fear
Tomas Soucek’s struggle manifested through three interconnected conditions that created what he describes as his “thirteenth chamber”—a reference to the deepest, darkest place of his mental state.
“Insomnia. Depression. Fear of the future. My thirteenth chamber. You don’t believe it, do you? I don’t really understand it in retrospect either,” he wrote with striking honesty. “Where others won’t put their foot because they’re scared of the pain, I jump headfirst. I can’t count the scars on my body, I finish matches with my head bandaged, but this hurt my soul.”
What makes Soucek’s revelation particularly powerful is the contrast it draws between physical courage and emotional vulnerability. Here was a player who never hesitated to put his body on the line for his team, yet found himself paralyzed by invisible demons that attacked when the stadium lights dimmed and he was alone with his thoughts.
The progression of his condition followed a cruel trajectory. What began as a minor annoyance gradually escalated into something that threatened to consume him entirely.
“At first it was only slightly annoying, but after a few months it became unbearable,” Tomas Soucek explained. “I was at the bottom, I would run into every match without sleep. Every match! Can you imagine? I was afraid of failure, I was afraid of reactions, I was afraid of everything.“
Playing Without Sleep: The Unimaginable Challenge
The most shocking aspect of Soucek’s revelation is that he competed at the highest level of professional football while suffering from severe sleep deprivation. For anyone who has experienced even mild insomnia, the thought of performing athletically demanding tasks without rest seems impossible. For Tomas Soucek, it meant taking the pitch for West Ham United in the Premier League—one of the most physically and mentally demanding competitions in world football—match after match, with no proper sleep.
To track his deteriorating condition, Soucek purchased a Whoop bracelet in fall 2023, a sophisticated wearable device that monitors heart rate and sleep quality. The data it provided was alarming.
“Do you know what the Whoop bracelet can do?” Soucek asked in his autobiography. “A fairly ordinary black collar that I don’t take off my left wrist measures my heart rate and sleep quality. I keep seeing on the sensor I wear on my wrist that I could do better and get more sleep before matches. I rarely get into the REM phase, where you dream.”
The REM (Rapid Eye Movement) phase of sleep is crucial for cognitive function, memory consolidation, and emotional regulation. Without reaching this restorative sleep stage, Soucek was essentially operating on fumes, his body and mind unable to properly recover between the punishing demands of elite football.
Yet throughout this period, the midfielder continued to deliver for West Ham, including helping the club win the UEFA Europa Conference League in 2023—their first trophy in 43 years—and maintaining his status as a key player for both club and country, where he serves as captain of the Czech Republic national team.
The Silence and Shame
Perhaps the most heartbreaking element of Tomas Soucek’s story is the isolation he felt. Despite being surrounded by teammates, coaches, and family, he kept his struggle completely hidden.
“By trying a thousand ways to get out of it, I was sinking deeper into the mud,” he confessed. “From match to match, I focused mainly on not sleeping, which actually disturbed me doubly.“
The paradox he describes is familiar to anyone who has battled insomnia—the more you focus on needing sleep, the more elusive it becomes. For Soucek, this created a vicious cycle: worry about not sleeping prevented him from sleeping, which increased his anxiety about upcoming matches, which further prevented sleep.
Even his parents remained unaware of their son’s suffering until he decided to write about it in his autobiography. His wife tried repeatedly to convince him to seek help and share his burden, but Soucek resisted, believing that admitting vulnerability in professional football would be seen as weakness.
“My wife tried to convince me for quite some time in vain: ‘Tell them. Admit it. No one can tell you a damn thing. You’ve done so much,‘” he recalled. “But what could I do? The pressure is merciless in big-time football. Weaknesses are not forgiven. If I reveal that I am vulnerable, the opponent will take advantage of it.”
This admission reveals a troubling truth about professional sports culture—that mental health struggles are still perceived as competitive disadvantages that must be hidden rather than medical conditions requiring treatment and support.
The Helicopter Celebration: A Symbol of Freedom
For West Ham fans, Tomas Soucek’s trademark helicopter celebration has become an iconic sight—a joyful expression of scoring that involves spinning his arms like rotor blades. Few realized this celebration carried profound personal meaning related to his mental health struggle.
Soucek revealed that the helicopter gesture was inspired by the concept of feeling free and escaping the illness he was battling off the field. The image of a helicopter rising above everything below served as a metaphor for what he desperately sought—freedom from the mental prison that insomnia and depression had created.
“Even with the helicopter, which I’ve started to really enjoy,” he wrote, suggesting that the celebration has become therapeutic, a physical manifestation of his ongoing fight to rise above his darkest moments.
Why Tomas Soucek’s Story Matters
The significance of Soucek sharing his experience extends far beyond West Ham United. In an era where mental health awareness is growing but stigma remains powerful, particularly in hyper-masculine environments like professional sports, his courage to speak openly creates space for others to do the same.
His story challenges several harmful myths:
The Myth of Physical Toughness Equating to Mental Strength: Soucek’s physical bravery is undeniable, yet he still struggled with mental health. This demonstrates that psychological challenges can affect anyone, regardless of their outward resilience.
The Myth of Success Protecting Against Mental Illness: Despite achieving his dreams—playing for a prestigious club, winning a European trophy, captaining his national team—Soucek still suffered. Success doesn’t immunize anyone from mental health struggles.
The Myth That Athletes Are Superhuman: By revealing his vulnerability, Soucek humanizes professional footballers, reminding us that they experience the same psychological struggles as everyone else, despite their elevated status.
The Broader Context: Mental Health in Professional Football
Tomas Soucek joins a growing number of professional footballers who have spoken openly about mental health challenges. Players like Tyson Fury, Andrés Iniesta, and Dele Alli have shared similar stories of depression and anxiety despite their professional success.
The unique pressures of elite football—constant public scrutiny, fear of injury, performance anxiety, social media criticism, and the temporary nature of careers—create a perfect storm for mental health struggles. Yet the traditional culture of football has long promoted stoicism and suppressing vulnerability.
Soucek’s decision to publish his story in an autobiography ensures his message reaches beyond a single interview or social media post. It becomes part of his permanent legacy and serves as a resource for others facing similar battles.
Moving Forward: Tomas Soucek’s Current Status
While Tomas Soucek doesn’t explicitly state in his autobiography whether he has fully overcome his mental health challenges, his willingness to discuss them publicly suggests a degree of healing and perspective. He continues to perform for West Ham United and recently signed a contract extension through 2027, indicating both his commitment to the club and their faith in him.
His recent performances—including scoring in West Ham’s victory against Burnley—demonstrate that whatever strategies he has employed to manage his mental health are allowing him to continue competing at the highest level.
“I know that this beautiful football story will end one day – and it won’t be long – but at the same time, I don’t see a single reason to give up on it now,” he wrote. “I’m going further.”
FAQs
What mental health issues did Tomas Soucek struggle with?
Tomas Soucek revealed in his autobiography that he battled severe insomnia and depression for approximately two years, describing the period as “unbearable” and stating he played matches without proper sleep while experiencing intense fear and anxiety.
Did Tomas Soucek nearly retire from football?
Yes, Tomas Soucek confirmed in his autobiography “Suk” that his mental health struggles were so severe that he seriously considered ending his professional football career prematurely, though he ultimately decided to continue playing.
When did Tomas Soucek’s mental health problems occur?
Based on references in his autobiography, Tomas Soucek’s struggles with insomnia and depression began around 2023 and continued for approximately two years, during which he purchased a Whoop bracelet in fall 2023 to track his sleep patterns.
Did anyone know about Tomas Soucek’s mental health struggles?
No, Tomas Soucek kept his condition completely hidden from almost everyone, including his parents and teammates. Even his wife only knew because she lived with him, and she repeatedly encouraged him to seek help and speak openly about his struggles.
What does Tomas Soucek’s helicopter celebration mean?
Tomas Soucek revealed that his signature helicopter goal celebration symbolizes freedom and represents his desire to escape from the mental health challenges he was battling, serving as a metaphor for rising above his struggles with depression and insomnia.